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Monday, March 12, 2012

I am not sure when I became aware that I was a "Ward of the State", but I knew that was the explanation I used on my financial aid application for the local community college. In layman's term- I was without parent or legal guardian, and the state of Massachusetts, Dept. of Social Services, had been supporting me since I was a young child. Often when others ask about my childhood and receive my unguarded Reader's Digest version of my tumultuous, scattered upbringing, they reply, almost speechless with "oh, that must have been hard."
First and foremost, some days were hard, but not all- most specifically, Mother's Day and Father's Day were the hardest. Depending on what age, my childhood Mother's Day project at school could be for my grandmother, my foster mother, my aunt, or the secretary of my high school. As for Father's Day, I had a foster father or a step father, but a male role model was near absent for most of my childhood. The hardest part of my childhood has been dealing with it as an adult. Therapy has helped me through the abandonment issues, the molestation, the physical abuse and the depression that accompanies it.
Now, as a mother to my own beautiful children, I continue to weed through the childhood of chaos, while my memories also reveal those who supported me along the way: my relatives, my teachers, my friends and my friend's parents. I walk proudly for who I am, unlike the wounded 20 year old I once was, it is with confidence that I share my life, the best and worst of it all...it is who I am.
I look forward to the journey of retelling the plethora of stories, and sharing the confusion, the hurt, the love, and the calm...

6 comments:

  1. Oh, LOVE......<3 I wish like hell every night that I could pull every kid right out of that system I am part of.....

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  2. Christina,
    Thank you for having the courage and eloquence to share your story. I know that it will be important to people, especially young people, to help envision an end to adversity. You are so resilient; I've always admired your strenght.
    Love, Donna

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    1. Donna...if you deem it appropriate- please feel free to share with the teenagers you works with. xo

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  3. Rock on, Christina! I look forward to following your posts! --Amy P.

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  4. Christina... you are a brave and beautiful woman in so many ways. You are an amazingly mindful mother and friend. I am so happy that you have decided to do this for yourself... the unveiling and unlayering of the woman that you are. Blessings on your journey and thanks for sharing.
    xo Rebecca

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  5. I am really proud of you for taking this step. What a legacy you are creating for your children, teaching them to honor themselves and to never underestimate the strength of a person, come what may. Perhaps one day I will join you in telling my story.

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